..............

what the......it's hari raya aidilladha for god sake. not sum april fool. damn.

what the what?

1) the face
2) the volume
3) the so irrational comparison.

SIGH~~~

although everything was okay after the whole 5 seconds incident above,
yeah me. i noe me. alwaz with the fake smile. still. a 5 seconds could hurt me
for another 5 months or even years. it hurts to noe that ur love one
treat ur other beloved one like THAT. ohh. gimme a break. it's HARI RAYA OKAY.
and me. i so am a human rite? i hav this tiny thing called a heart. there period.

salam aidil adha =)

selamat hari raya korban~

korban.
can be in any type.
any aspect.
there's one thing in my mind.
i wanna sacrifice.
well lemme juz keep
it to myself for a while.
i so bad dun want it
to happen.
well tuhla kan namanya pengorbanan.
things yang we badly cant or will
never do. but we have to do.
options. yes. there are many.
but there are times.
when all of the options.
seems to be fading off.
even when it is actually
clearly right in front of ya.

bedtime story anyone?

i walked through the woods..
with a deep fogs surrounding me..
i kept on walking..
walking and walking..
searching for a place..
to hide out..
from the bears in the woods..
suddenly i found a cave..
so with a so-not-brave-spirit-me inside..
i light up my flashlight..
and walked into the cave..
but i didnt go far too deep..
i was juz looking for a place..
to settle down a while..
and so am not searching..
for a treasure or what so ever..
then..
my flashlight ran out of battery..
seriously? haizz.
it was already midnight at dat time..
since there were no other options..
i juz sat there..
in a rili deep dark cave..
praying hard that i'll be safe..
until daylight..~

ps: what i wrote above is my version of make-believe-story. i dunno. juz sumhow. i'm out of words to describe my very own mood at the moment. trust me. i too far from understanding it. scary~

i so am clois fan! but clana is great too.

ohh. i cant help myself but to post this entry.
i've been listening to this specific one song since
yesterday. 'You and Me - Lifehouse'

well, if u are my reader from the start u should
noe a bit on why i luv diz song..

juz to recall. right guy wrong timing. there i said it.
coz today is his burfday. so i cant help myself
to juz forget the day. coz i rmbrrd it since 4 years ago.
huhu. it's nutin tho, i guess it's me. alwaz rmbbring
every single details in my life almost precisely correct. hee.

i sort of hate the me back then. why do i hav to be
so fulled of stuck up ego inside. haha. it's not hard to juz admit.
i guess i was so me. if i were to juz u noe put my happiness
in the first place, it would be another ending of our story. hehe.

well all in all. pretty glad there's this so-called modern thingy Facebook!
i found him there recently. unforch, u noe. time passes by..
well he did rmbrrd me. it's juz...u noe things changed. i guess
we're juz not dat friendly like we used to..i dun blame him.
if i were him i would hate myself too. see. i've done few things
that i'm not rili proud of in the past. well i noe he's not even reading diz post.
juz like to say a simple sorry from deep down inside my heart althou
it was an ancient history. huhu.

whoa~ i'm surprised.

hey all..

arineh nutin to post pon..
juz terjumpe one fact yg nk share while
i'm reading diz rili cool ilmiah book. huhu.
The title is ' Indahnya Hidup Bersyariat'
mmg cool sbb agak tebal. full with lotsa n lotsa
ilmu berkaitan fardu ain untuk diri dan keluarga
sepjg hayat. yg lagi menarik coz all the pages are
in colored and pages yg sgt lembut plus byk gamba2. hehe. sgt chantek ",
nak bace pon kne la carik bku yg menarik interest mau
bace. huhu. ala. alasan jek. haha.

ok ok. the fact yg nak dishare.
agaknye mngkin those out there might already know.
well dgn tidak malunye i admit. i baru je tahu.
uhuh. my bad. well at least not too late.
it's nvr too late when it comes to learning, right? hee.

Nisbah populasi makhluk di bumi adalah:

1%: Manusia
9%: Jin
90%: Malaikat

wah. sunggoh x sangka begitu sikitnye we as the human beings living in this entire globe. kalo diikutkan berbillion bagai. tup2 in comparison with angels and devils, we are only A PERCENT.
so berhati-hatilah anda sume. byk jin2 berkeliaran. 9% kot. sgt byk ok. they will nvr stop to haunt us so please dont be deceive by them. eventho sgt ssh nak tepis all of their godaan, tapi tulah tepuk dada tanye iman ye kawan2 sekalian. hee. on the other hand not to worry dat much, there are more portion of the population for malaikat2. there are here for us. will always be there and protect us.setiap dr mereka ade their own tugas yg telah diberikan oleh Allah swt~

ok. dahla. nak tido. besok mau tgk Christmas Carol. cant wait!. daaaa~

k n o w

thoughts in my mind rite at diz moment.

- i know what i want
- i know what i need to do
- i know i can do it
- i know i deserve it

yet, i know it's very hard to achieve.
i need to be 200% extra confident and hardwork.
plus i do need to sacrifice here and there..
i'll manage. i know i can. i will.
i do need all the support i can get.

wish myself a very GOOD LUCK ",

aimi turning 22 ",

a shoe.
it is what you wear on ur feet to walk.
there is a saying sounds like ' you'll know one's feelings if you are in their shoe'

so for now..
i think i'm beginning to feel sumthin..and trust me diz is not a great one. sucks big time.
i hate to be in that person's shoe. but i guess i get what i deserved. i hurt one's feeling before.
now it comes back and haunts me down. althou everything dat happened before is actually
a coincidence, and i am totally innocent. still i did hurt that person...pretty badly. without me noticing it before. only after awhile when everything is clear as crystal, i learned dat what i did
was not a good thing. i rili am not proud of what i had done.

so now dat i am in dat exact shoe. i precisely know what that person felt before.
yeah. pretty badly torn. so i dunno. i guess. what goes around comes around. it is pretty similar situation now that i'm having with years back in 2006..ohh.

what da heck have i typed above. ahh. whatever. dunno why all of the sudden sort of malas arr nak pikir. lantak la ape nk jadik. if it were to be happen the exact way as what it happen before..then be it. sumone said to me before aku seorng yg tabah. so i think i'm gonna be juz fine.

ohh yeah lupe. tuhla type lg ntah pape pjg leba naa..
arineh burfday one of my bff, Nooraimi Shahira =)
she's turning 22 today. So dear, i'm wishing u HAPPY BIRTHDAY ",
all the best in ur life. heart u ^_^

dinner part 4 DiSK

past : present : future

mari kita belajar tense utk arineh..
ade past, present and future. hahaha..lawak sesaat :p

i look through the window..
and sumhow, it made me walked down
the memory lane i had in my past..
let's juz say i only remembered the nice memory..
the sweet one.. the unforgettable one..
there are few that are bitter and hard to erase..
but i decided to threw away that portion..

what's the point on cherishing those nightmares in the past..
all they do is juz only haunting ur present..
the important one is to be thankful of what u have in the present..
and work 200% extra hard work to ensure a successful
bright future..

what i wrote above actually relates of my moods at this moment..
althou i havent decide anything..
still, it'll be great if i got the help from u to make the decision easier for me..
plz and i mean plz..try to convince me that you have put all those past behind u..
and nvr will u ever walk into that world again..
i wanna be the light for u to guide u along ur darkest hour for now and days ahead..
coz u will always be the light that brighten up my day ",

reality vs happiness

the reality steals away my long gone happiness.

sadly, i think it's gonna be gone forever.
coz i dun think i could open up the heart for another episode of happiness.
i'll be okay by myself.
i did so well before.
honestly, i dunno what to think.
dunno what to decide.
dunno what's inside my mind.
dunno why all of the sudden the light doesnt shine me nymore.
dunno why the fact that i only belong living in the darkness.
dunno how could i live on .
dunno anything anymore.

nice day ",

nice wake up call at early morning.
nice homemade breakfast.
nice lunch date.
nice movie hangout.
nice shopping time.
nice breezing weather in the evening.
nice dinner out.

i so love how my day turned out to be a real nice one =)

weekly planning

hey y'all...

yesterday pegi pameran FYP senior..
wahh..such cool projects i say!
very the bombastic, haha. takot plak tgk. hee
sonok la dieorg ek..da grad da pasni..
syok2..aku plak?
welcome to paradise? no no...sgtla tak..
i'll be busy like hell finishing my FYP pulak. uhuh.
cepatlaaaaa siap. haha. suh cepat siap.
padehal cuti neh kne ngadap thesis n start develop.
tapi malas nk start agi. huhuu..

ok ok. mngu dpn start serious k..
nk start wat thesis. nak wat montage tuk seminar engine ape tah tuk fac abah..
nak godek2 software2 nk wat fyp tuh..n at the same time
looking for a job. x kesah la keje ape pon. ade aku kesah ke aku ade dip tp nk kje
biase2 jer..part time kot..huhu
nak duit. mau angkat pc satu...camno ler nak wat fyp ngn lappy aku yg sgt canggih tuh.
processor je dah intel. celeron plaks tuh. haizz. alamat hang jela bile install 3D software..huhuu

anyhow, arineh sgt sonok. sgt sgt. wpon skjap dpt spend time ngn my BFFs, but it was
a rili enjoyable momentos. sbb kesuntukan mase jd xdpt nk gi mane2. cume sesi melalak sahaja. suara2 kami sgt sumbang yer apb berkarok. hrp maklum. haha. tapi still mau nyanyi jugak. bleh perasan jd yuna kejap. haha.

esok saye mahu menonton movie pulak bersama akak tercinta..saye mau tgk pisau cukur
tp die xnak. saye mahu nonton 2012 die mau tgk ngn hubby die. saye mahu nonton 2012 ngn
seorg die hard fan saye ( chewaahh..haha) takot abeh tayang plak. haizz. em xpela saye ajak kembar sy la kalo gitu. huhu. akhirnye saye mungkin nonton the time traveler's wife jela besok. uhuh.

luse. karok. again? HAHA.
yes. i luv to sing =)
aisar text me juz now ajak date karok. huhu.
jom2 sar. kite kasi melalak 3 jam tros. ngeeee~~

dahla tuh. ape tah bebel mcm2.
ngarot2 bagai saje aku neh.
bye!

Aashir tuh!~~~

hey!

lupe nak ckp.
i'm FREE from exams!! yippieeee~~~

not for long laa..
i still have another to-be-hectic semester left before i grad..
insyaAllah~

rite now i'm so anxious to watch >> smallvile S09E08 & merlin S02E07
cant the download be any faster?? *sigh~~~

later at noon..eh da noon ek. em satgi la pas zhr kot..
i'll be goin to my sis's place.
ade small fmly gath over there.
she juz moved. so we are coming by to look at her new place..
sadly, baby aashir wont be coming...waaa~~
sgt mahu jmpe die. rindu. rindu. huhu.

okay. okay. enuf already kot.
ohh. kpd si pembaca blogku yg setia itu, trima kaseh sbb sudi
bace mcm2 yg saye tulih di sineh..haha. eventho sgt x interesting. haha.

another jiwang post. haha.

i am glad.
i haven't erase that foot mark of yours back then..
if you hadn't wait for me..
surely i've already lost the path to the road of happiness with u..
thank you for sticking through with me during those hardship moments..
i hope you'll forgive me for all my wrong doings before..

now i really love the taste of my life..
filled with sweetness of the happiness i've been getting..
dun ever say that u cant make me smile..
coz u've been making me smile all the way through the heart..
heart u a lot. will always be.
thanks yang ^_^

s p e e c h l e s s

.
.
..
...
....

kata2 yg takde makna. haa.

one more.
yeah.
one more.
suke. suke.
tak sabar.
nak cuti.
tapi cuti ka?
fyp tetap membelenggu diri.
huu.
apela naseb.
cuti2 pon kene ngadap thesis.
kene start wat fyp.
haizz.
seb bek ade blog.
abehla blog.
start sem depan.
mengeluh jer lar saye di sineh.
ohh.
how i so hate.
hate aper?
ape lagik.
fyp laa.

eleventh november.

i so love the past.
it makes me who i am today.
i noe not everyone agrees with dat.
still.
i dunno.

even if it were my case.
i love talking bout the ancient history.
coz that is the only way for me
to express how i miss them so much.
but dat doesnt mean i am thinking
to be with them.
i juz love to reminisce the past.
it makes me think of the mistakes i've done.
so dat i can fix it for my upcoming future.
it is also to remind myself that
the happiness that i am holding now is very precious
and not to be slip away easily as in the past.

all i'm saying is dat..
i was juz trying to be ur friend.
dats why i brought it up.
who noes maybe u need me as a friend on this date.
coz i want you to be my friend. bff probably.
plus at the same time sumone i heart so much.
s o r r y a g a i n~

10 pages of terminology sahaja. sgt nak muntah bace dan hafal. huu

ohh. its such a nice moment when i'm surrounded by the happiness bubbles that had been floating around me at this moment. huhuu. yes. i am happy. well not to many factors. i'm still waiting for another few days to be free from the finals. still i am happy. why? i dunno. i'm just in the mood of smiling. HEE. ",

mmg la i've been smiling since yesterday. then diz morning as i was enjoying my breakfast. yup. rili enjoyed. u can say of how i was so starving to death due to yesterday which was a so-not-many-food-i've-swallowed day. haha.

while eating i glanced at a calender on the table. then i saw June 2009. ohh. how my smiled changed bitterly. huu. i hate that stupido June 2009. well luckily after the whole glancing at the calendar thingy i still got another reason to smile. so thanks to u-know-who-you-are, u can still make me smile despite the so-called June 2009. haha.

printer. ohh. printer.

hey all...
morning..
although in a few mins it is already afternoon. huhu..
now sumthing rili pissed me of
my printer!
err..not mine actually. it's abah's. huhu.
suddenly die sgtla wat hal..
time2 aku nk print notes nak bace tok exam neh.
alamak kantoi. dah nak exam bru print notes. HEE.
well..sadly..ntah nape takleh nk print..
mmg die kdng ikot mood sket printer neh..
tapi plz la jgn wat hal today. i rili need the notes.
huhuu..

luckily, after a long tiring moments of waiting for the printer to
get working properly, my bff buzzed me on9. and he kept me away
from thinking bout the damn printer. thanks for accompanying.
i noe life doesnt treat u so well lately. dun wori dear i alwaz got ur back.
we'll continue later k after we r free from the whole burden of exams. exams. exams.
huhuu..

mood: regretful | action: hibernating | wish: no disturbance

i've made up my mind.
it's only a matter of time till i spill out the beans.
it's for the best.
dun say dat i havent taken diz
into a deep thought. i hav. and diz is the best. i repeat.
the best decision i could come up with.

hoping everything will go on smoothly
for the time dat is left. i noe it's not long enuf. but i'll make it a memorable one so that during days ahead it will giv me the support i'll be needing.
aiyaa. wrong word. forget already ka? no hoping nymore. haizz. okay tukar2. camne ek. hah. xyah la nak hope2. ape jadik, jadik. hee. senang cite. tak jadik, tak jadik la. huhu.

i so dun want that day to ever come. eventually it has to come.
i so luv my future more than ever.
since now i'm writing with loads of regrets,
i tend to get carried away with my words.

but hey, i'm a person with principles. once a thought had crossed my mind. nvr doubt dat i wont take it seriously. i will. especially when it comes to making
my abah proud of my achievement. this one. yeah. i could nvr say no to.
even when it comes to having me to sacrifice my own desire.

okay. i could go on forever here typing unnecessary thoughts into diz long winding paragraph. better i stop now. it's not like nyone is goin to read it till the end. huu. i hope i hav the strength to confront when the day comes. hope again? seriously. haizz. u hope too much atie. haha.

surrounded by dull colors.

i think too much
i dream too much
i hope too much
i study too much??

haha. that last one is so not true.
how i wish it was.
damn. hate diz sem.
my focus is so way off the subway.
i rili need to get back on the track
i mean now.
NOW
NOW
haizz. tomolo is already the day.
uhuh. alrite2.
i stop now.
image. image. image.
plz Dr. Liza, can tomolo be an open book exam. HAHA. nvr will ever happen kot. :D

bunkface is still the best. still wanna post. sbb Akim =)

sarangheyo~

I KNEW I LOVED YOU - SAVAGE GARDEN

Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
(add the whos here)

A thousand angels dance around you
(and the whos here)
I am complete now that I've found you
(and the whos here)

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
(and the whos here)

^_^

hello there!

alhamdulillah. now i'm back walking on my happy-go-lucky-sidewalk =)
i already said gudbye to all the dearest pain and tears. but i doubt that i wont be needing them again in days ahead..
in short,
yes.
i am.
currently
enjoying
every
moments
of
happiness.
but
i am
done
hoping.
i juz dun want to get tangle in all of those dramas again.
yup.
rite.
hatie.
no more hoping okay.
juz live on ur life.
with a smile =)
and rmbbr. no HOPING. alrite. gtg. daa~

exams. exams. exams. exams.

4th - technology entrepreneurship

8th - image processing

12th - digital audio video

13th - virtual reality

wish me luck y'all ",

undefined~

"jangan terbang terlalu tinggi nanti jatuh awak akan parah"

above was quoted from a line in a malay movie, Puteri Impian.

my opinion.
true.
so true.
well.
dat is me.
i love flying.
as high as i can be.
now that i'm falling on the ground.
i dunno if the wound is going to heal soon.
it's been quite sumtime
i havent had a wound.
i dunno.
i guess.
everything that happen is for a reason.
all i'm saying.
sumtimes it is too good to be true.
yet what is left to do.
is just go on living.
and fades away.
one more thing that i love to do besides flying.
is being invisible.
how i wish my life is just like the tv show.
where you can fly. you can vanish. you can do all sorts of
impossible thingy. well. dat is how the word fantasy comes in the first place.
oh yeah. invisible.
yup. luv to be one. why?
so that nobody will ever see me whenever i feel like
being alone. plus it's great though not seeing anyone.
i get to avoid one of my best skills. hurting others.
so in the end. i am still living in that realm of darkness.
i dunno when i'll be getting out.
i was hoping for soon.
well like i said.
i hope for too much.
now.
what i can do.
is juz being me.
the simple me.
with my dearest shadow.
inside this cell.
that had been build inside the heart
for a long time.
the end.
of my undefined post.

d e c a de

dat day around the year comes again.
although i am stuck.
in the realm of darkness.
which i am not sure when i'm getting out.
still sumhow. after going through
many years with tears of loneliness.
sumhow God heard me. Alhamdulillah.
He has given me the light to brighten up
my day. For now i am hoping the light would
shine up my days ahead. so dat i'll be
going out of the darkness soon.
in short.
i looked back through the calendar.
it's been a decade.
ohh.
how long have i been hiding.
hiding from facing the reality.
yes.
i am scared.
of facing the truth.
but i am still juz a human being.
need to face the obstacles that is already destined for me.