rain, moon, light

i went to uitm to get my mini transcript.
what for?
yup i noe i havent grad yet..
it is for my TPM application.
i mintak jer..ade rezeki ader..
xde..cube lagi..
i went by myself today.
tamao lift from nyone..
juz felt like walking on my own..
and juz as i tot..
everywhere i go..
whenever i see that car..
with the exact color..
only with a differ VIN..
the feels are juz....pilu? huu~

i havent fill out the form yet.
tonite will do kot..n sok gi fotostat sijil2
n sah sume..then anta la trus ke
jbtn ape ntah. huhu.

ohh lupe. td bru pas bc doa akhir n awal tahun..
it's Maal Hijrah.
new year huh..
so i hav to be a new me?
not so new laa..huhu
but i'm glad if i can change to be
a better person..inshaAllah~
that is what hijrah is all about..


since it is tahun baru..
i wanna grab sum semangat baru..
for me to live onwards..in a new year..
i hope i can achieve what i want all these while..
not much actually..
juz a future filled with happiness..
i dun think dat is too much to ask for..
maybe God doesnt fulfill me yet becoz of a reason..
after all everything dat happens surely ade hikmah disebaliknya kan..

it had been a fortnight i waited.
and i got nutin. not even a word.
so i dunno..
yeah i noe..
ade hikmah why things happened like diz..
why dia diam seribu bahasa..
only he knows why..
and i'm here..alwaz n alwaz..
waiting dgn hati yg serba serbi tak faham..
his heart already chose sumone else..
what more does he want..
juz tell me clearly..
and let me go..
i dun wanna say we r apart coz xde jodoh..
since either of us are not married yet..
so kita pnye jodoh tatau lagik kan..
ohh my. my ayat above is so am looking
me as sumone yg berharap lagik..
i shouldnt. i know.
but still..
the heart is not for bargain..
it takes time. a lot of time..
for me to heal..
and hoping i hav the strength for
another episode of love..

in the meantime..
i nak try to control my emotion..
sedey mmg sedey..
sape tak kan..if dlm my condition..
tapi bile pk blk..
i 24/7 tot of him..
and ended up crying..
him? does he ever tot of me..
i dunno. at first i tot so too.
i tot he's hurting bcoz of us too..
eventually..when i noe
he got sumone else by his side..
i dun need another explanation
on whether he tot bout me or not..
huu..

omg.
i got carried away..
sorry yaa.
i noe diz isnt my diary..
still i cant seem to control
my finger typing..again n again..
when it comes to him..
alrite, i'll stop now.